Stan: Theres a bunch of birds in the sky,
And some deers just went running
by,
Ohhh, the snows pure and white on the earth rich and brown,
Just another
sunday morning in my quiet mountain town.
The sun is shining and the grass is green,
Under the 3 feet of the snow
I mean,
This is a day when its hard to wear a frooowwwwn,
All, the happy
people stop to say hello!
Stranger: Get out of my way!,
Stan: Even though the temperature's low, Its a perfect Sunday morning
in my quiet little mountain town,
Sharon: Well good morning Stan!
Stan: Mom, can I have eight dollars to see a movie?
Sharon: A movie? But I thought you were going ice skating...
Stan: But this is going to be the best movie ever! It's a foreign film
from Canada
Sharon: All right, all right here you go, but be back for supper!
Stan: Thanks Mom!
Sharon: Oh what a picture perfect child, Just like Jesus, he's tender and mild, He'd a wear a smile while he wore a thorny croooooowwwn, What an angel with a heart so sweet and sure, And a mind so open and pure, Thank god we live in this quiet redneck mountain town!
Stan: Hi, is your son home?
Ms. McCormick: I think so... HEY!!! (Stan: ow) Kenny, wake up... Kenny
dammit come on Kenny: I'm coming!
Stan: Kenny the Terrance & Phillip movie is out, you wanna come?
Kenny: (something)
Ms. McCormick: Where the hell do you think you're going?
Kenny: I'm going to see Terrance & Phillip
Ms. McCormick: You can't, you have to go to church!
Kenny; But Mom, I wanna see this movie!
Ms. McCormick: Well fine go ahead and miss church; and then when you
die and go to Hell you can answer to Satan!
Kenny: OK!
Stan: You can see your breath hanging in the air, You see homeless people, but you just don't care, It's a sea of smiles in which we'd be glad to drown, Kenny: (something), Stan: That's right, its sunday morning in our quiet little white-bred redneck mountain tooooowwwwwwn!
Kyle: OK, Ike lets try this one more time
Ike: (something)
Kyle: Kick the baby!
Ike: Don't kick the baby
Kyle: Kick the baby
Stan: Kyle, we're going to the Terrance & Phillip movie
Kyle: Oh my god dude!
Sheila: Kyle, what's going on?
Kyle: Nothing, we're going skating now
Sheila: Oh, well take your little brother out with you
Kyle: Aw ma, he's not even my real brother, he's adopted
Sheila: Do as I say Kyle!
Kyle: Ok, ok I'm sorry
Sheila: Look at those frail and fragile boys, It really gets me down, The world is such a rotten place, And city life's a complete disgrace, Thats why I moved to this redneck meshugannah quiet mountain town.
Cartman: Mom, somebody's at the dooooor: Mom, somebody's at the door,
I said!
Liane: Coming hon...
Cartman: Ahh, I can't see the TV
Generic Reporter: It's been six weeks
since Saddam Hussiein was killed by a pack of wild boars and the world
is still glad to be rid of him.
Liane: Oh Look Eric, it's your little friends
Ike: fireman!
Cartman: What are you guys doing here? OH SWEET DUDE, YES! YES!!!
Four boys: Off to the movies we shall go, Where we learn everything
that we know, Because the movies teach us what our parents don't have time
to say!!! And this movie's gonna make our lives complete Because Terrance
& Phillip are sweeeeet (Cartman: Super sweet) Thank God we live in
a quiet little red-neck po-dunk white-trash (Kenny says something) U.S.AAAAAAAAAA.
Stan: Can I have 5 tickets to Terrance & Phillip: Asses of Fire
please? Clerk: NO!
Terrance: Shut your fucking face uncle fucka
You're a cock sucking ass licking uncle fucka
You're an uncle fucka, yes its true
Nobody fucks uncles quite like you
Phillip: Shut your fucking face uncle fucka
You're the one that fucked your uncle, uncle fucka
You dont eat or sleep or mow the lawn,
You just fuck your uncle all day long
(farting noises)
Terrance: Hmm!
(farting noises)
(laughing)
(farting noises)
Some Guy: What's going on here?
(farting noises)
People: OOOoooooooooooooh
Fucker fucker uncle fucka uncle fucka fucka fucka fucka
T & P: Shut your fucking face uncle fucka (Terrance: uncle fucka)
Terrance: You're a boner biting bastard uncle fucka
Phillip: You're an uncle fucka I must say
Terrance: Well you fucked your uncle yesterday
Everyone: (laughing)
People: Uncle fucka... thats
Everyone: U-N-C-L-E fuck you Uncle
Fuckaaaaaa tonight...
Phillip: Suck my balls!
Mr. Mackey: There are times when you get suckered in
By drugs and alchohol and sex with women-mmkay
But its when you do these things too much
That you've become an addict and must get back in touch
You can do it Its all up to you-mmmmmkay
With a little plan you can change your life tooo-day
You dont have to spend your life addicted to smack
Homeless on the streets giving handjobs for crack
Follow my plan and very soon you will see-eeyy, its easy mmkay
Step 1: Instead of ass say buns, like "kiss my buns" or "you're a buns hole"
Step 2: Instead of shit say poo, as in "bull poo", "poo head" and this "poo is cold"
Step 3: With bitch drop the t because bich is latin for generosity
Step 4: Dont say fuck any more because fuck is the worst word that you can say
So just use the word mmmkay!
Children: We can do it its all up to us-mmmkay (mmmkay)
With a little plan we can change our lives tooo-day
Mr, Mackey: you can change it today
Everyone: We don't have to spend our lives shootin up in the trash
Homeless on the streets giving handjobs for cash
Follow this plan and very soon you will see-eey
Its easy mmkay!
Mr. Mackey: Step 1 Children: Instead of ass say buns, like kiss my buns or you're a buns hole
Mr. Mackey: Step 2 Children: Instead of shit say poo, as in bull poo, poo head and this poo is cold
Mr. Mackey: Step 3 Children: With bitch drop the t because bich is latin for generosity
Mr. Mackey: Step 4 Children: Dont say fuck any more
Everyone: Cuz fuck is the worst word that you can say
Children: Fuck is the worst word that you can say
We shouldn't say fuck, no we shouldn't say fuck, fuck nooooo!!!
Mr. Mackey: Your cured, you can go!
Everyone: We don't have to spend our lives shootin up in the trash
homeless on the streets giving handjobs for cash
Follow this plan and very soon you will saaay
Its easy mmmkay!
Children: It's easy mmmkay!
Mr. Mackey: It's easy mmmkay!
Children: It's easy mmmkay!
Mr. Mackey: It's easy mmmkaaaaaaaayy
Children: It's easy mmm
It's easy mmm
It's easy mmm
It's easy mmmkaaaay
(both finish at same time)
(laughing)
Mr. Mackey: Mmmkay
Mmmkay
Mmmkay
Sheila: Time's have changed
Our kids are getting worse
They won't obey their parents
They just want to fart and curse!
Sharon: Should we blame the government?
Liane: Or blame society?
Dads: Or should we blame the images on TV?
Sheila: NO, blame Canada
Everyone: Blame Canada
Sheila: With all their beady little eyes
And flappin heads so full of lies
Everyone: Blame Canada
Blame Canada
Sheila: We need to form a full assault
Everyone: It's Canada's fault!
Sharon: Don't blame me
For my son Stan
He saw the darn cartoon
And now he's off to join the clan!
Liane: And my boy Eric once
Had my picture on his shelf
But now when I see him he tells me to fuck myself!
Sheila: Well, blame Canada
Everyone: Blame Canada
It seems that everythings gone wrong
Since Canada came along
Everyone: Blame Canada
Blame Canada
Some Guy: There not even a real country anyway
Mrs. McCormick: My son could've been a doctor or a lawyer it's true
Instead he burned up like a piggy on a barbecue
Everyone: Should we blame the matches?
Should we blame the fire?
Or the doctors who allowed him to expire?
Sheila: Heck no!
Everyone: Blame Canada
Blame Canada
Sheila: With all their hockey hubbabbalooo
Liane: And that bitch Anne Murray too
Everyone: Blame Canada
Shame on Canada
The smut we must stop
The trash we must smash
Laughter and fun
must all be undone
We must blame them and cause a fuss
Before someone thinks of blaming uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuusss
Kyle's Mom is a Bitch
Cartman: Weeelllll,
Kyle's mom's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch,
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,
She's a stupid bitch, if there ever was a bitch,
She's a bitch to all the boys and girls.
On Monday she's a bitch
On Tuesday she's a bitch
On Wednesday thru Saturday she's a bitch
Then on Sunday just to be different,
She's a super king kong maya maya biotch!
Have you ever met my friend Kyle's Mom,
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,
She's a mean old bitch, she has stupid hair,
She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch
Bitch, bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch
She's a stupid bitch, Kyle's Mom's a bitch,
And she's such a dirty bitch.
Talk to kids around the world,
It might go a little something like this...
Sung in three different languages by other children
Have you ever met my friend Kyle's Mom,
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,
She's a mean old bitch, she has stupid hair,
She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch
Bitch, bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch.
She's a stupid bitch, Kyle's Mom's a bitch,
And she's such a dirty bitch;
I really mean it,
Kyle's Mom, she's a big fat, stinking bitch
Big old fat fuckin' bitch, Kyle's Mommmmmmmmmmm
Yeahhhhh, Chaaaaa
What would Brian Boitano do
If he was here right now,
He'd make a plan
And he'd follow through,
That's what Brian Boitano'd do.
When Brian Boitano was in the olympics,
Skating for the gold,
He did two sow cows and a triple lutz,
While wearing a blind fold.
When Brian Boitano was in the alps,
Fighting grizzly bears,
He used his magical fire breath,
And saved the maidens fair.
So what would Brian Boitano do
If he were here today,
I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two,
That's what Brian Boitano'd do.
I want this V-chip out of me,
It has stunted my vo-ca-bu-lar-y.
And I just want my mom
To stop fighting everyone
For Wendy I'll be an activist, too,
Cos that's what Brian Boitano would do.
And what would Brian Boitano do,
He'd call all the kids in town,
And tell them to unite for true
That's what Brian Boitano would do.
When Brian Boitano travelled through time
To the year 3010,
He fought the evil robot kings
and saved the human race again
And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids,
He beat up Kubela Kong.
Cos Brian Boitano doesn't take shit from an-e-y-body
So lets all get together,
And unite to stop our mom's
And we'll save Terrance and Phillip too,
Cos that's what Brian Boitano do.
And we'll save Terrance and Phillip too,
Cos that's what Brian Boitano dooooo,
That's what Brian Boitano do.