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Seinfeld Injuries/Doctors/Medical List
Updated - Nov. 4, 2002

Abortion - Elaine's beliefs - Poppies' mother [The Couch]
AIDS - Elaine fears AIDS in the limo ride [The Lip reader]
Alcoholism - Dick, Elaine's office friend [The Red Dot]
Alcoholism - 12 steps - Jason [The Apology]
Alcoholism - George says(lies?) his uncle was an alcoholic [The Apology]
Allergies - The accountant and delivery boy to the sweater [The Sniffing Accountant]
Allergies - Elaine allergic to guy's cats [The Stock Tip]
Amputation - Leapin' Larry's Limp [The Secret Code]
Amyotrophic Laterial Sclerosis - Steinbrenner, wearing the uniform, hopes Lou Gherig's disease
is not contagious [The Millennium]
Angioplasty - ordered with the high fat meal [The Wink]
Anorexia - George thought he had it after PBS program [The Heart Attack]
Arm spasm - George faked it [The Non-Fat Yogurt]
Arrhythmia - Katie (Marisa Tomei's friend) [The Cadillac]
Athlete's Foot - Buckle's bad joke [The Movie]
Asthma - George says he has it and can't blow up ballons [The Fire]
Back condition - Morty lost his wallet [The Wallet]
Back injuries - the Mandlebaums. [The English Patient]
Back therapy - swimming in east river [The Nap]
Bacterial Meningetis - acted out [The Burning]
Bell's Palsy - dog owner lied [The Dog]
Baldness - The Chinese cure [The Tape]
Birth - Rula [The Suicide]
Birth - Carrie(?), Susan's cousin [The Seven]
Bite - Kramer bit Newman's ankle after taking Smucker's medicine [The Andrea Doria]
Black Eye - Kramer after watching guys' shower techniques [The Apology]
Blindness - George fakes it [The Fatigues]
Boil - George's to be lanced manana [The Stall]
Boils - Elaine would have got them in Africa [The Showerhead]
Bone Marrow Operation - George lied he had to call his uncle [The Jacket]
Brainwashing - Mr. Wilhelm is Tanya (Patty Hearst) [The Checks]
Breast Cancer - US stamp poster on wall [The Package]
Blood Transfusion - Jerry get's Kramer's blood [The Blood]
Blockage - Kramer needed Bran cereal [The Pitch]
Broken Bones - every one in the motorcyclists face [The Trip]
Broken Leg - Jimmy slips on wet floor [The Jimmy]
Broken Legs - George slipped on invitations [The Summer of George]
Broken Toe - Elaine was caned [The Dinner Party]
Bris - in the hospital [The Bris]
Bulimia - George was paying for the meals [The Switch]
Bulimia - Cynthia 'likes to throw up' [The Fix-up]
Bulimia - Imaginary Sharon [The Susie]
Bunnions - Newman's stories Kramer bought for $8 [The Van Buren Boys]
Burns - second and third degree burns from hot crepes [The English Patient]
Burns - George's model hands [The Puffy Shirt]
Burns - Kramers leg from the café latte [The Maestro]
Cardiologist - at the Bris [The Bris]
Cancer - Gary Fogel faked it [The Scofflaw]
Cancer - George is sure he has one [The Pilot]
Cancer - What's the deal with cancer [The Butter Shave]
Cancer - in labratory animals, Elaine reads [The Andrea Doria]
Carcinoma - squamus(?) cell, Kramer's diagnosis of Krueger's mole [The Slicer]
Carpal Tunnel Syndrome - signing $0.12 checks [The Checks]
Cast - on the busboy [The Busboy]
Check Up - Mania had one and was fine before she died [The Pony Remark]
Chemotherapy - Fogel's hair [The Scofflaw]
Chiropractor - George won't pay $75 scam [The Ex-Girlfriend]
Choking - Jane choked on a juju bean at the movies [The Stall]
Cirrhosis of Liver with Jaundice - Mickey's fake disease [The Burning]
Coma - Jerry's neighbor Martin [The Suicide]
Coma - Kramer hit by tennis balls [The Comeback]
Coma - Reilly's wife [The Comeback]
Coma - the motorcycle driver had a bad accdent [The Trip]
Common Cold - 80 mph, 40 degrees temperature for 15 minutes - you do the math [The Stranded]
Common Cold - Mr Lippman sneezing and can't shake hands [The Opposite]
Concussion - Kramer's from Crazy Joe [The Pitch and The Ticket]]
Concussion - Kramer hit by baseball, calls Elaine, Carol; George, Mike [The Letter]
Concussion - Brett hit by ax handle (leads to his death)[The Checks]
Constipation - Kramer does the 'E' wet and wild [The Pitch I and II]
Cough - Kramer's dog medicine [The Andrea Doria]
Coughing - bad when naked [The Apology]
Crabs - George discusses with Jerry in the washroom while escaping from Alton Benes [The Jacket]
Deafness - Elaine fakes it in cab [The Lip Reader]
Deafness - in right ear and George can't 'go left' [The Implant]
Deafness - Saul Brandis couldn't hear anyway [The Cadillac]
Deafness - They think Bob was faking [The Friar's Club]
Deafness - The B. L. [The Lip Reader]
Deafness - Kramer's cousin who lived with him [The Lip Reader]
Deformed Hand - Roy McGinnis(?)not master of his domain [The Puffy Shirt]
Dental fix free - Elaine gave Tim the gift [The Label Maker]
Dental work - Jerry - sexually molested [The Jimmy]
Dental work - Kramer's novocaine freezing [The Jimmy]
Dentist - conversion to Judaisim 'for the jokes' [The Yada Yada]
Depleted sperm count [Kramer]
Dermatologist - Jerry's girlfriend he ridicules [The Slicer]
Deviated Septum - Jerry lied that he looked that way [The Red Dot]
Dr. (Martin/Peter) Van Nostrand [The Slicer]
Drug overdose - Mr. Pitt [The Diplomats Club]
DT's - Mickey practises for the medical acting [The Burning]
Ear Nose and Throat - Katie's husband's a doctor [The Cadillac]
Eating Disorders - what girls tease each other to [The Library]
Electric Shock - Kramer puts paper clip in wall plug [The Slicer]
Electroshock Therapy - for George if he sees Estelle 'out there' [The Assman]
Elbow Injury - Larry David won't golf again(newspaper) [The Wizard]
Emotional Disorders - George seeing therapist that Estelle is paying for [The Shoes]
Emotional Exhaustion - George's little sensor guy quit two years ago [The Apartment]
Emphazema, birth defects, cancer - from Kramer's smoke filled room [The Abstinence]
Epstein-Barr - with a twist of Lyme [The Baby Shower]
Eye surgery - Estelle couldn't cry for "x" amount of time [The Fusilli Jerry]
Failing eyesight - George 'throws' eye test to qualify for books on tape [The Fatigues]
Fainting - George at the Bris [The Bris]
Fainting - Carloto in Monk's [The Abstinence]
Fever - 103 with red dots everywhere George lied [The Red Dot]
Flibitis(sp?) - Morty's got it. [The Shower Head]
Fleas - George went to pharmacy to buy cream [The Stranded]
Food Allergy - cookbook, Elaine has to edit [The Statue]
Food Poisoning - flashback [The Fatigues]
Food Poisoning - The MacKenzie Group guys [The Pie]
Foot Surgery - Sid's nephew in Virginia [The Alternate Side]
Fungus Infection - the cat [The Conversion]
Gas Explosion - 5 deaths including the new busboy [The Busboy]
Germophobia - the woman at Elaine's work [The Apology]
Goiter - the size of a football [The Old Man]
Gonorrhea - acted out [The Burning]
Gout - Kramer moved in with Len Nickademo [The Stand In]
Hallucination - when Elaine fasts before the X-rays [The Suicide]
Head Injury - Kramer's recurring problem [The Ticket]
Heart attack - George sees holistic healer Tor [The Heart Attack]
Hernia - Kramer's friend Bob Saccamano now talks high [The Heart Attack]
High Blood Pressure - Frank [Serenity Now]
High Cholesteral - Whales don't have to be the biggest mammal [The Marine Biologist]
Hip Injury - Jake was sideswiped [The Opposite]
Hip replacement - the squirrel [The Merv Griffin Show]
Hives - from benzene in the Bronzo, not the doctor [The Slicer]
Hospitalization - dog owner airline passanger from Chicago [The Dog]
Humeral Epicondylitis - Miss Landis tore hers playing tennis [The Switch]
Hypoglycimic - Joel had to have lunch quickly [Male Unbonding]
Hypothermia - Kramer's spa heater goes off [The Hot Tub]
Hypothermia - Kramer waiting outside the liquor store [The Dinner Party]
Incontinence - Poppie [The Pie]
Incontinence - Newman [The Suicide]
Inner Ear Infection [The Wife]
Interabdominal Retractor - Kramer saw on 20/20 [The Junior Mint]
Immune Deficiency (rare) - But he has the remote [The Bubble Boy]
Impetigo - Susan's grandmother exiled to the cabin and died of it [The Cheevers Letters]
Impacted Molar - Tim had to leave Elaine [The Label Maker]
Impotence - George's lack of confidence[The Mango]
Insanity - Robert Schuman went mad from singing one note 'A'[The Jacket]
Intense Malaise - Peggy was off work and took a turn for the worse [The Apology]
Ipecac - for Mickey who swallowed 12 aspirin [The Burning]
Iron Rich Blood - sets the detectors off [The Trip]
Kidney Donation - [The Trip]
Kidney Stone - Kramer passes it at the circus [The Gymnast]
Lacerations - Kramer cut Woody Allen with broken beer mug [The Alternate Side]
Lacerations - Tina and Kramer from invisible coffee table [The Truth]
Lacerations - Jerry's cut neck [The Blood]
Lacerations - Jerry's cut finger [The Bris]
Lacerations - Jack Klompus's hand [The Raincoats]
Lactose Intolerant - Jerry has no patience for lactose [The Phone Message]
Laryngitis - Jerry had it for real [The Maid]
Lazy Eye - Bobby had one [The Maid]
Legionair's Disease - Marcy's friend got it from a hot tub [The Yada Yada]
Leprosy - The DMV, it's like a leper colony down there [The Wink]
Lupus - George's white spot [The Pilot(2)]???
Lupus - George's, Is it Lupus, Rula's prediction [The Suicide]
Lupus - George's, Is it lupus, [The Heart Attack]
Lyme Disease - Elaine's roommate [The Stock Tip]
Medobolic Acidosis...no, ...HYPOCALIMIA! [The Abstinence]
Memory Loss - Wilhelm did not take his medicine [The Bottle Deposit]
Mennengitis - Oh Mommy, one of the things George fears [The Heart Attack]
Mental Hospital - Steinbrenner has George committed [The Bottle Deposit]
Mental Illness - Crazy Joe Divola's prescription medicine [The Ticket]
Mental Illness - Cousin Douglas, screamed "Where's the Pepsi; Where's the Pepsi" [The Truth]
Messed up face - Tony (the mimbo) who fell from the cliff. [The Stall]
Mononucleosis- Louise thought she had it [The Abstinence]
Multiple Personalities - Elaine tells Jerry he is Dan as an excuse for Joel [Male Unbonding]
Mumps - Elaine looks sick after the steam bath at B and B [The Strike]
Natural causes - George tells Peterman's dying mother his ATM code [The Secret Code]
Nausea - Jerry's record 13 years fom July 29 1972 [The Masseusse]
Nausea - Jerry from the black and white cookie [The Dinner Party]
Nausea - Zach detoxing in Elaine's apartment [The Bookstore]
Nausea - Kramer threw up from Roy's gas [The Note]
Nausea - Kramer threw up on Susan from the spoiled milk [The Pitch]
Nausea - George drank Hennigans then threw up with the cleaning lady [The Red Dot]
Near Sightedness - Monet must have been [The Raincoats]
Neuritis, Neuralgia - Elaine lied to Mr. Lippman to go to game [The Letter]
Nervous Breakdown - Lloyd Braun [The Gum]
Nervous Breakdown - Tina the tax accountant [The Truth]
Nervous Breakdown - George's car had one [The Limo]
Nose Bleed - Kramer [The Mom and Pop Store]
Obesity - car jacking victim [The Finale]
Organ Donation - Elaine and Jerry (lies) going Thursday night [Male Unbonding]
Osteopath - warned Kramer not to carry a wallet [The Dinner Party]
Osteoporosis - found in Elaine's urine sample [The Showerhead]
Paralysis - [The Handicapped Spot]
Paranasal Sinus Cavity collapsed - causes a huge dent [The Nose Job]
Paranoia - Jerry Lewis recorded meetings [The Soulmate]
Parapalegic - Aunt Sarah [The Cheevers Letter]
PCB Addiction - mistaken guess [The Burning]
Pertussin- with Club Soda [The Hamptons]
Pharmasists - They could get involved in people's lives [The Pitch]
Phlebitis - Morty's was acting up [The Showerhead]
Physician - Beth was Don Mattingly's doctor [The Wait Out]
Pink Eye - George could not read well [The Couch]
Podiatrist - Elaine's boyfriend [The Conversion]
Podiatrist - Susan's cousin [The Cheevers Letters]
Polops - Walt's benign duodinal polops [The Frogger]
Poisoning - Fredo dies eating strongbox key [The Strongbox]
Poisoning - Mrs. Hamilton eats dessicant chip [The Millenium]
Premature Aging of the Skin - Kramer [The Abstinence]
Proctology - a million to one! - Frank [The Fusilli Jerry]
Psychiatrist - Joe Devola and Elaine shared one [The Pitch]
Psychopath Convention - down the hall from Jerry's dressing room [The Showerhead]
Psychosexual Attraction - 'nuff said [The Ex-girlfriend]
Quone - Kramer's Scrabble word ' It's a medical term - to quone someone. ' [The Stakeout]
Rabies - Elaine's dog bite - doctor does not know about rabies [The Glasses]
Reconstructive Surgery - Guatamalan kid's nose rebuilt [The Assman]
Rectal Examination - like an audit [The Truth]
Ruptured Capillaries - in eyes when Jerry scuba dives [The Pen]
Rhinoplasty - George's girlfriend [The Nose Job]
Rhinoplasty - Wilkinson, hospitalized [The Stock Tip]
Rhinoplasty - Audrey, Rula saw her [The Suicide]
Rhinoplasty - Peter Jennings (possible) [The Nose Job]
Ringing in the Ears - Uncle Leo [The Bookstore]
Rogaine -poster in a store window as Jerry walks back home [The Frogger]
Root Canal - same week as a birthday [The Deal]
Rotator Cuff - Goodin's may be slow to heal [The Subway]
Sclerosis - Oh Mommy, George thinks he has it [The Heart Attack]
Scraped Knee - George chasing the 'Mary' kids [The Note]
Seasickness - George would be a land guy in the Coast Guard [The Slicer]
Seizures - Kramer has when hearing Mary Hart [The Good Samaratin]
Severed Toe - Kramer takes in Cracker Jack box to hospital [The Fire]
Shock Therapy - as invigorating as a polar bear swim [The Pez Dispenser]
Shock Treatments - Bob Saccamoto's big synapses - no effect [The Truth]
Skin Cancer - Dermatologist saved man's life [The Slicer]
Skin Rash - Elaine's charts describe her as a problem patient [The Pratice]
Splenectomy - the triangle artist [The Junior Mint]
Sprained leg? - Bette Midler [The Understudy]
Sprained Ankle -George's good leg [The Butter Shave]
Stabbing - of Al Mercer's by ex-girlfriend [The Andrea Doria]
Stabbing - with a fork by Elaine of Al Mercer [The Andrea Doria]
Stiff Neck - Elaine promises Kramer the bike[The Package]
Stress - damages the epidermis [The Puffy Shirt]
Stroke - 66 year old, Owen March [The Alternate Side]
Stroke - untimely one for doctor who could not sign death certificate [The Implant]
Suicide - Newman's excuse for speeding [The Ticket]
Suicide - Martin tries it because of Gina [The Suicide]
Sun Burn - Kramer before his date [The Wife]
Sun Burn - Kramer self basting [The Butter Shave]
Swollen Adnoids - George [The Heart Attack]
Swollen Ankles - if he eats dessert [The Pony Remark]
Tetanus - possibly for Elaine's nose stud- [layarteB ehT]
Tonsillectomy - George's mistaken heart attack [The Heart Attack]
Tooth ache - Jerry, sneaking into Tim Whatley's party
Toxic Mercury fillings - Gary wanted removed [The Scofflaw]
Toxic poisoning - Susan's death [The Invitations]
Tuberculosis - potato... grass... [The Truth]
Typhoid - Elaine looks sick after the steam bath at B and B [The Strike]
Ulcer - Who could have given them to Elaine [The Suicide]
Ulcers- Kramer getting them from work [The Bizarro Jerry]
Urine Test - Elaine tests for Opium [The Shower Head]
Uromycetisis - Jerry's fake urinary problem [Parking Garage]
Valium - Crazy Joe ran out of it [The Ticket]
Vasectomy - Elaine's boyfriend and Kramer [The Soul Mate]
Water in the ear - Kramer [The Finale]
Whiplash - Jerry and George after ambulance crash [The Heart Attack]
Winslow's Tumour - Tickets to see it [The Ex-Girlfriend (standup routine)]
Wrenched back - Elaine [The Pen]
Wrenched back - Estelle [The Outing]
Wrenched back - Estelle [The Contest]
X-Rays - Kramer's were negative [The Letter]
X-Rays - Elaine had to fast [The Suicide]
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